HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
