i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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