if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
