don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Randomize
