i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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