Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
