Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
