my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
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