Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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