i think my mom watched the whole time
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
