no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
