i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
