I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
