ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
This show inspires me to have sex in space
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
