When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
