playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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