I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Randomize
