I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
