Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
