I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize