why didn't you poke me back
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
At least make sure they are 18
Why
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Randomize
