Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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