i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
being pregnant is like rehab
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Text me some of your sweat
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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