I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
