do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
