Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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