But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
My ATM looks so different sober.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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