Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
