If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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