why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
This couple is walking their pig around campus
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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