Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Randomize
