You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
she peed on how many people?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
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