Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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