Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize