he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
