i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
