she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
