went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
