At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
the condom got lost in my hair
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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