Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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