he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
