Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
