I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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