i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
