i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
