ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Randomize
