I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
