Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
