D3 body, D1 cock
Will you blow on my dice?
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize