Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
i out mim tonsoeep
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