he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
