I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
