just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
