do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
