i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I'm passing your future prison.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
