Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
