Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
