so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
