I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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