after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
